Where are You
by GuiltyShadows
Summary: Christmas is approaching and a certain green eyed brunette eagerly awaits the return of his lover. But will he be disappointed once again and forced to spend a second Christmas alone? R&R greatly appreciated.


A/N : Thought of the fic as I listened to Faith Hill's "Where are you Christmas" on repeat. Hell, love that song. Might do another fic later ba. Just beware. Was feeling kinda fluffy during that point of time so yah. And not to mention this is the first Saiyuki fanfic I've done in quite a while so please bear with any OOC-ness. Love ya all.  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own anything in here. Just the plot. Song belongs to Faith Hill and whoever helped out with it and Gojyo and Hakkai belong to Kazuya Minekura-sama and I worship her and the animators for bringing it to the television. If not I'd never have found out about this magnificent and wonderful anime. XDXD  
  
Warning : Shounen-ai. MxM relationship. Gays. Homosexuality. Got the picture? So shoo if you don't like any of this. Oh, fluff as well. I think.  
  
Pairing : GojyoxHakkai  
  
Genre : Romance, Angst  
  
Rating : PG  
  
Note : The first part is in Hakkai's view and changes to 3rd person at the end. First time trying out this style of writing so comments will be much appreciated.  
  
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WHERE ARE YOU  
  
Nearly a year's passed since we ended the journey, since we've subdued Gyumao. And once more, it is the end of the year. It has not started snowing yet but I know it will soon. It never fails to every year.   
  
And once more, we're at the end of the year, the jovial season fast approaching.   
  
//Where are you Christmas   
  
Why can't I find you?   
  
Why have you gone away   
  
Where is the laughter?   
  
You used to bring me   
  
Why can't I hear music play?//  
  
As I walk along the street, looking around me, the children call out and greet me; familiar friends come over and give a friendly hug. All so familiar and yet, so distant. After so many months gone from this town, the distance is back again… And you're not here to help me familiarize with my surroundings. Not like last time.  
  
And I wonder, will it be the same without you?  
  
Everywhere I look, I see couples hand in hand, arm in arm with each other walking past me and tears start forming. Hurriedly, I wipe them away, not wanting anyone to see them.   
  
Why did you leave me like she did?  
  
Why did you break your promise?  
  
//My world is changing  
  
I'm rearranging  
  
Does that mean Christmas changes too?//  
  
I enter the house, memories flashing by as I look around. It seemed as though an eternity passed since I've returned without you. Questions plagued me when I returned alone, people asking left and right about your whereabouts. And all I could tell them was,  
  
"I don't know. But I know he's safe where he is now."  
  
The fire starts, warming the room and Hakuryuu in his usual place in his basket near the fire. Everything is so warm, the room, the atmosphere, the environment…  
  
So why am I not?  
  
Are you ever going to come back?  
  
Will I have to get used to living without you as well?  
  
//Where are you Christmas  
  
Do you remember?  
  
The one you used to know  
  
I'm not the same one  
  
See what the time's done  
  
Is that why you have let me go?//  
  
Presents lay on the table, some waiting to be wrapped while others to be placed under the tree. And as I look through them, I see three from last year, one for each of you who have disappeared completely.  
  
Once again, the thought of your safety flashes through my mind.  
  
Looking out the window, I see that I'm not disappointed as the snow starts falling, knowing that I could trust nature.  
  
"I'll be back soon Kai. Wait for me. I promise soon."  
  
Can I trust your words anymore?  
  
//Christmas is here  
  
Everywhere, oh  
  
Christmas is here  
  
If you care, oh//  
  
Eve. Tong Pu and the usual people over for a celebration. Envy passes through me as I see their carefree faces, as I see them and their spouses and loved ones.  
  
Have you ever thought of returning home?  
  
Have you ever thought of returning back?  
  
Have you ever thought of me?  
  
The party ended an hour ago and you've not appeared. I look up at the clock, the second hand ticking away happily while the minute hand about to join the hour hand.  
  
A minute more till Christmas, the second one without you here.  
  
Will I end up spending this one alone again? With no one except Hakuryuu beside me to keep me company while I read beside the window, looking up eagerly for you?  
  
I don't want it again. All I want is you here by my side.  
  
//If there is love in your heart and your mind  
  
You will feel like Christmas all the time//  
  
He started keeping the cups and clearing the mess, just to keep away from brooding, even if it was just a short moment.  
  
It wasn't like Tong Pu didn't volunteer to help out. It wasn't like none of them didn't volunteer to help him clear up.  
  
He turned them all down. He didn't want company, not at this time of the year, not while they had their lovers around them as well.  
  
It was selfish, that he knew clearly but it hurt, it hurt too much for him to see them like this. And he knew it hurt Tong Pu to see him like this as well. All the better for them to leave.  
  
The clock chimed, Hakuryuu lifted its head as he counted the number of chimes.  
  
12 times.  
  
Christmas was here.  
  
He was alone again.  
  
He shook his head, clearing the thoughts and pushed all his focus to the task at hand. It was funny, he was the one with the most focus in the group and yet, here he was, having trouble putting his focus on anything. Even the simplest of tasks like washing dishes seemed to require a lot of it.  
  
Jerked out suddenly of his thoughts, he was glad for his quick reflexes as he caught a falling dish. Sighing, he placed the dishes into the sink before he walked quickly to the door, assuming it was Han Long or some other who had forgotten something of theirs.  
  
He never expected it to be him.  
  
//I feel you Christmas  
  
I know I've found you  
  
You never fade away  
  
The joy of Christmas  
  
Stays here in silence  
  
Fills each and every heart with love//  
  
"Tadaima Kai."  
  
Long red hair with the two familiar 'feelers', a smile crossed with a slight grin, the brown leather jacket and black jeans and white shirt, red eyes full of happiness and love staring back at him. It was him.  
  
He had returned to him.  
  
Eyes beginning to water, he threw himself into his arms, burying his face in the chest, breathing in the familiar scent that was so typical of him, cigarettes and alcohol only without the musky scene of sex coupled with incense from the temple and the familiar pine scent from the pine tree grove not far from here.  
  
"Baka… Baka…" Was all he could whisper as the tears trailed down his face. "You stupid kappa…"  
  
"You've spent too much time with that damned saru… Now I've got a nice excuse not to give him his present." The red head grinned. "So where's the proper greeting? I've been traveling for weeks to get back in time so it'd better be decent."  
  
//Where are you Christmas  
  
Fills your heart with love//  
  
He looked up and smiled at the familiar cheekiness. A hand cupped his cheek as the two of them met once again. It had felt like eternity since they had last kissed like this, no tongues, no hanky panky. Just the two of them enjoying the feel of the kiss, lip to lip. Finally, the two of them broke off, the need for air over-coming them.  
  
He smiled, and it felt real and sincere for the first time as he greeted his lover.  
  
"Okaerinasai desu wa Gojyo."  
  
Once more, his life felt completed. And deep inside his heart, he knew it would last forever, nothing would tear them apart ever again.   
  
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A/N : So how was it? The first Saiyuki pairing I fell in love with when watching the series. Everything looks so perfect for them, character wise and what not. XD Not to mention Tenpou and Kenren from their past lives. *Worships the two* R&R minna! Please! And a very happy and early Christmas to everyone!! *Glomps and huggles* And damn ffn for screwing up the damned format. =_= 


End file.
